Crossing Cultural Boundries

From India To California

Imagine growing up in a situation where society’s norms are the complete opposite of the rules of your home. For the majority of Americans this is not the case, but there are a significant number of instances where this occurs. An example of this comes in the form of one 24-year-old native Californian named Jamshire Lakdawala. Although he has never been a resident of anywhere but Southern California he has been raised as though he is living in India. At the age of 24 Lakdawala has had the misfortune of living his life with a strict eye monitoring his every move while many of his peers experience a life with much more freedoms.
“Believe it or not, the little differences are much harder to deal with than some of the ones that most people feel would be harder,” Lakdawala said. “The fact that my parents place an emphasis on education that few others do is much easier to get over than being the 24-year-old who is not allowed to spend time alone with his girlfriend.” As a college graduate he feels that he is capable of making his own decisions without parental supervision.
Lakdawala understands where his parents are coming from when the pass the laws onto him and his two brothers. His parents, Coshrew and Farida, grew up in India and had to deal with an even stricter childhood than their three kids do. “Even though my parents do not allow me to be alone with my girlfriend I am at least given the choice as to who I want to be with,” Lakdawala said because the marriage between his parents was an arranged one.
He grew up with such an emphases being placed on his education because that is how his parents came to America from India. His father, Coshrew, received a full scholarship to University of California, Los Angeles. After years of education Coshrew has received multiple degrees, including a doctorate in chemical engineering, and he expects the same from his three sons.
This emphasis on higher education has presented a few problems when it comes to his attempts to adjust to a normal life in Sothern California. “The hardest thing to get over was when my parents told me that I was not allowed to play soccer for U.C. Riverside,” Lakdawala said. All his life he grew up wanting to play soccer more than anything else, so that came as quite a blow to his plans. His parents supplied him with the reason that if he played soccer in college it would take him longer to receive his bachelor’s degree.
Although the importance put on education over everything else has come with its problems it does come with a reason. In their native country of India, there is a much larger importance placed on education than in the United States due to the socioeconomic situation in India. Unlike in the United States it is not at all uncommon for the poorest members of society to live right next to the nations wealthy.
In India there is no such notion as ‘the American dream,’ which is why the children of Indian immigrants grow up with an unusual emphasis on education. When an individual is born in America they are given the chance to do anything with their life from teaching in schools to running the country while those born in India are placed into a caste system with the slightest chance of upward movement. Once labeled as a member of one of the various castes on the hierarchy individuals are expected to abide by every rule of the caste they are born into.
Another difference between India and America is the notion that parents are expected to support their children through their education. No matter what caste someone is born into it is expected that an education, to one extent or another, will be funded by the student’s parents. This is far different from the American notion that children are on their own at the age of 18 and if an American child wants to achieve a higher education it is up to the student to find the means of funding the educational adventure.
Lakdawala's parents still firmly follow the cultural norms that they learned as citizens of India. This is why Lakdawala or any of his two younger brothers have never had to hold a job. It is an interesting contradiction to the American ideology that once a child becomes a man at 18 that they should get a job and begin supporting themselves. This is both good and bad. The good part is that it allows for full concentration on school resulting in a quicker completion and better grades but on the other hand there is the whole social aspect of work that is missed out on as wel as the independence that accompanies a source of self-made income.
As a result of the differing cultures between India and America Lakdawala is forced to live in two contradicting realities. The first is to maintain a seemingly normal life outside of his family and the second is to conform to what his parents expect of him. "It is a little unusual to be 24 and forced to hide beer from my parents," Lakdawala said. "As ridiculous as it is it is something that I have to do to please them."
Growing up in his family he has been forced to take a path in life that he did not choose due to his parents expectations and unwillingness to compromise. Lakdawala has done a decent job so far of pleasing his parents. He graduated high school with honors while playing varsity soccer. Fresh out of high school he attended University of California, Riverside, where he had received a scholarship for his high school soccer performances. He managed to graduate with a bachelor's degree in pre-medical studies in four years in addition to playing on the college soccer team his freshman year.
Currently, Lakdawala attends California State University, Northridge, where he is studying for his master's degree in chemistry. If he follows the path laid out for him by his counselor he will graduate with his master's degree in three years.
After graduation, he hopes to obtain a career in the either the medical or chemistry fields. "I look forward to the day that I don't have to hide a bottle of vodka under my bed or sneak out of the house to spend some time alone with my girlfriend," Lakdawala said.